Quarantine is very similar to being pregnant.
You lay around all day, watching Netflix, eating ice cream out of the tub,
in your sweatpants, drunk.
Just be careful because people are going crazy from being in the lockdown!
Actually I’ve just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee
and all of us agree that things are getting bad.
I didn’t mention anything to the washing machine as
she puts a different spin to everything and certainly not to the fridge as
he is acting cold and distant.
I haven’t spoken to the kettle… he was steaming and the vacuum cleaner
told me to suck it up. (rude, isn’t it!)
In the end the iron calmed me down as she said everything will be fine
and no situation is too pressing.
This is the hangover of staying isolated for weeks. Can’t meet people, friends and missing your girlfriend. You desperately want your party life back but can’t help it. This is what all lonely hallucinated souls do.
Are you getting the feeling of surrounded by chicks
When my imaginary friend started making one too many yo momma jokes
quarantine day #483: my imaginary friend started making one too many yo momma jokes pic.twitter.com/IUfW95Zdus
— 🏌🏾 (@awthatscaleb) March 28, 2020